please tell me i’m not the only one that went “butt-butt-butt-astronaut” at first
no you’re not because i went “shit-shit-shit-poodle”
THIS IS THE BEST TWEET, HANDS DOWN.
hey guys as it’s starting to get warmer out i'd like to remind everyone to stay hydrated and drink lots of water!
moms are so temperamental you say one thing like “have you seen my hoodie” and theyre like your HOODIE??? YOUR HOODIE???? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY THINGS I HAVE TO DO EVERY DAY AND YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO KEEP TRACK OF YOUR HOODIE? NOBODY HELPS ME IN THIS HOUSE I DO EVERYTHING BY MYSELF AND NOBODY ASKS HOW I AM YOUR FATHER IS AN ALCOHOLIC
not sure why people don’t automatically say “shapeshifting” when asked what they want their superpower to be. you could become anyone you want. even fictional characters. anyone. cosplay would always be spot-on. dysphoria wouldn’t exist. perfection
rob a bank and disguise yourself as a stray pen lying on a shelf when the cops come
A pen with a shit ton of money lying next to it.
Showing up at your best friends house uninvited.
please allow 5 to 7 business days for me to understand the joke you just made
DID SOMEONE PHOTOSHOP A FAT BELLY ON GENDER-BEND URSULA??
Someone has photoshopped a fat stomach onto it..omfg >.>
An asexual and pansexual become room-mates and have wacky adventures
The show is called ‘All or Nothing’
Plot twist: the asexual is really super outgoing and is a huge flirt while the pansexual is extremely socially awkward and has trouble ordering coffee let alone getting a date.
my hand slipped