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Posted 9 hours ago | Reblog | 299972 Notes

sherlockedwithloki:

mischiefmanagedin221b:

please tell me i’m not the only one that went “butt-butt-butt-astronaut” at first

no you’re not because i went “shit-shit-shit-poodle”

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Posted 9 hours ago | Reblog | 62336 Notes
willtwerkforluke:

THIS IS THE BEST TWEET, HANDS DOWN.

willtwerkforluke:

THIS IS THE BEST TWEET, HANDS DOWN.

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Posted 9 hours ago | Reblog | 202950 Notes
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Posted 9 hours ago | Reblog | 20379 Notes

tom-marvolo-dildo:

hey guys as it’s starting to get warmer out i'd like to remind everyone to stay hydrated and drink lots of water!

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Posted 9 hours ago | Reblog | 17701 Notes

mancrushoftheday:

Reblogged via @man_crush

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Posted 9 hours ago | Reblog | 95139 Notes

averagefairy:

moms are so temperamental you say one thing like “have you seen my hoodie” and theyre like your HOODIE??? YOUR HOODIE???? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY THINGS I HAVE TO DO EVERY DAY AND YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO KEEP TRACK OF YOUR HOODIE? NOBODY HELPS ME IN THIS HOUSE I DO EVERYTHING BY MYSELF AND NOBODY ASKS HOW I AM YOUR FATHER IS AN ALCOHOLIC 

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Posted 9 hours ago | Reblog | 174253 Notes

hod-the-blind:

dx11:

mancermechro:

not sure why people don’t automatically say “shapeshifting” when asked what they want their superpower to be. you could become anyone you want. even fictional characters. anyone. cosplay would always be spot-on. dysphoria wouldn’t exist. perfection

rob a bank and disguise yourself as a stray pen lying on a shelf when the cops come

A pen with a shit ton of money lying next to it.

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Posted 9 hours ago | Reblog | 191902 Notes
dancing-to-your-heartbeat:

Showing up at your best friends house uninvited.

dancing-to-your-heartbeat:

Showing up at your best friends house uninvited.

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Posted 9 hours ago | Reblog | 143236 Notes

icorly:

please allow 5 to 7 business days for me to understand the joke you just made

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Posted 9 hours ago | Reblog | 15550 Notes

squigybutt:

zombie-smart-bunnyvirus:

theartofanimation:

Sakimichan

DID SOMEONE PHOTOSHOP A FAT BELLY ON GENDER-BEND URSULA?? 

Someone has photoshopped a fat stomach onto it..omfg >.>

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Posted 10 hours ago | Reblog | 234711 Notes

schrodingersnerd:

everythingisnightvale:

discontentramblings:

An asexual and pansexual become room-mates and have wacky adventures

The show is called ‘All or Nothing’

Plot twist: the asexual is really super outgoing and is a huge flirt while the pansexual is extremely socially awkward and has trouble ordering coffee let alone getting a date.

image

my hand slipped

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